Happy Adoptive Mothers Day

I read this and wanted to share it, because it speaks for so many of us that have traveled this journey of adoption~


Dear Mom of an Adopted Child,
I met you in adoption education class. I met you at the agency. I met you at my son’s school. I met you online. I met you on purpose. I met you by accident.
It doesn’t matter. The thing is, I knew you right away. I recognize the fierce determination. The grit. The fight. Because everything about what you have was a decision, and nothing about what you have was easy. You are the kind of woman who Makes.Things.Happen. After all, you made this happen, this family you have.
Maybe you prayed for it. Maybe you had to convince a partner it was the right thing. Maybe you did it alone. Maybe people told you to just be happy with what you had before. Maybe someone told you it simply wasn’t in God’s plans for you to have a child, this child whose hair you now brush lightly from his face. Maybe someone warned you about what happened to their cousin’s neighbor’s friend. Maybe you ignored them.
Maybe you planned for it for years. Maybe an opportunity dropped into your lap. Maybe you depleted your life-savings for it. Maybe it was not your first choice. But maybe it was.
Regardless, I know you. And I see how you hold on so tight. Sometimes too tight. Because that’s what we do, isn’t it?
I know about all those books you read back then. The ones everyone reads about sleep patterns and cloth versus disposable, yes, but the extra ones, too. About dealing with attachment disorders, breast milk banks, babies born addicted to alcohol, cocaine, meth. About cognitive delays, language deficiencies. About counseling support services, tax and insurance issues, open adoption pros and cons, legal rights.
I know about the fingerprinting, the background checks, the credit reports, the interviews, the references. I know about the classes, so many classes. I know the frustration of the never-ending paperwork. The hours of going over finances, of having garage sales and bake sales and whatever-it-takes sales to raise money to afford it all.
I know how you never lost sight of what you wanted.
I know about the match call, the soaring of everything inside you to cloud-height, even higher. And then the tucking of that away because, well, these things fall through, you know.
Maybe you told your mother, a few close friends. Maybe you shouted it to the world. Maybe you allowed yourself to decorate a baby’s room, buy a car seat. Maybe you bought a soft blanket, just that one blanket, and held it to your cheek every night.
I know about your home visits. I know about your knuckles, cracked and bleeding, from cleaning every square inch of your home the night before. I know about you burning the coffee cake and trying to fix your mascara before the social worker rang the doorbell.
And I know about the followup visits, when you hadn’t slept in three weeks because the baby had colic. I know how you wanted so badly to show that you had it all together, even though you were back to working more-than-full-time, maybe without maternity leave, without the family and casseroles and welcome-home balloons and plants.
And I’ve seen you in foreign countries, strange lands, staying in dirty hotels, taking weeks away from work, struggling to understand what’s being promised and what’s not. Struggling to offer your love to a little one who is unsettled and afraid. Waiting, wishing, greeting, loving, flying, nesting, coming home.
I’ve seen you down the street at the hospital when a baby was born, trying to figure out where you belong in the scene that’s emerging. I’ve seen your face as you hear a nurse whisper to the birthmother that she doesn’t have to go through with this. I’ve seen you trying so hard to give this birthmother all of your respect and patience and compassion in those moments—while you bite your lip and close your eyes, not knowing if she will change her mind, if this has all been a dream coming to an abrupt end in a sterile environment. Not knowing if this is your time. Not knowing so much.
I’ve seen you look down into a newborn infant’s eyes, wondering if he’s really yours, wondering if you can quiet your mind and good sense long enough to give yourself over completely.
And then, to have the child in your arms, at home, that first night. His little fingers curled around yours. His warm heart beating against yours.
I know that bliss. The perfect, guarded, hopeful bliss.
I also know about you on adoption day. The nerves that morning, the judge, the formality, the relief, the joy. The letting out of a breath maybe you didn’t even know you were holding for months. Months.
I’ve seen you meet your child’s birthparents and grandparents weeks or years down the road. I’ve seen you share your child with strangers who have his nose, his smile … people who love him because he’s one of them. I’ve seen you hold him in the evenings after those visits, when he’s shaken and confused and really just wants a stuffed animal and to rest his head on your shoulder.
I’ve seen you worry when your child brings home a family tree project from school. Or a request to bring in photos of him and his dad, so that the class can compare traits that are passed down, like blue eyes or square chins. I know you worry, because you can protect your child from a lot of things — but you can’t protect him from being different in a world so intent on celebrating sameness.
I’ve seen you at the doctor’s office, filling out medical histories, leaving blanks, question marks, hoping the little blanks don’t turn into big problems later on.
I’ve seen you answer all of the tough questions, the questions that have to do with why, and love, and how much, and where, and who, and how come, mama? How come?
I’ve seen you wonder how you’ll react the first time you hear the dreaded, “You’re not my real mom.” And I’ve seen you smile softly in the face of that question, remaining calm and loving, until you lock yourself in the bathroom and muffle your soft cries with the sound of the shower.
I’ve seen you cringe just a little when someone says your child is lucky to have you. Because you know with all your being it is the other way around.
But most of all, I want you to know that I’ve seen you look into your child’s eyes. And while you will never see a reflection of your own eyes there, you see something that’s just as powerful: A reflection of your complete and unstoppable love for this person who grew in the midst of your tears and laughter, and who, if torn from you, would be like losing yourself.

~~~ Through all the fostering, adoption paperwork, travel, attachment struggles, and worry, it's all been worth it, a thousand times over.  And I would do it all over again.

Love you, girls!

Need filled life

This morning during my Bible reading quiet time, this verse hit me.

In fact, I went back to it several times.

"Every one to whom much is given, of him will much be required: and of him to whom men commit much they will demand the more."

God tells us that those of us that are fortunate need to share with those who are not.

And I look around at my home and my things, and even though we are frugal and don't have alot of "toys", we still have everything we need.

Everything.

And I am again hit with the need to share all of my wonderfully safe, fortunate, need filled, family focused, blessed life with another little one who doesn't have all this. 

Doesn't have a lap to sit on and someone to read stories to her.

Doesn't have her own bed, or even clothes or toys to call her own.

Doesn't have brothers and sisters to clown around with, wrestle on the couch with, or snuggle with at night while watching a movie.

Doesn't have the unconditional love of parents and a family.

Doesn't have the teachings of a faith that she can hold on to and rely on.


And I know that I am again being nudged to do something about it.

Getting to know you~

Quinn has been home for a year now, and I can't believe how much she has changed and grown, and not just in size!  She has absolutely blossomed and we are seeing new facets to her personality every day and glimpses into the young lady she will become.

Here are a few things I have learned about her:
 

She is gentle and loving towards her parents, siblings and her baby dolls.

Rocking baby Qiao Qiao

That she is braver than I ever expected.

She insisted on doing a sparkler "by herself".  Made Mama very nervous!

She has a very musical side to her, and is really pushing me to be able to express this side.

She can already 'sing" her sister's violin pieces, and Quinn turns many toys into violins and bows,

 

She is smart as a whip.

As she was building houses, she was counting the blocks up to 10 with no mistakes.  Who taught her that?!

I expected a shy introverted child with institutional delays and possible attachment issues.  What a beautiful surprise this child has been!  She is a dynamo that loves fiercely and who establishes her place in this family by loving up to all of us with no excuses. 

 



Quinn- thank you for accepting us as your family and loving us with the fierceness that is you.   I thank God every day that he gave us the courage at our age to answer His call to adopt, and its a decision that I will always be so very proud of, as I am of you.

We love you so much!!

Orphan Sunday Recap

I'm always amazed to watch God impress an idea on someone and see how that idea grows and stretches and is soon touching others in positive ways.

Last week it occured to me that Nov 4th was Orphan Sunday, and I remembered how last year I vowed to do something to recognize it.  Last year at this time, we were living with my parents because our house was being moved AND we were getting ready to head to China to meet Quinn. I just didn't have the time or resources to get anything prepared.  So I scrambled this week to get something ready to show our church family. 

Sunday we had worked it out with Pastor Steve that Loren would show a video that I found on YouTube to promote Orphan Sunday and I would say the Prayers that are listed on the Orphan Sunday website.  I also spent almost 4 hours (grin) making posters to put up in the narthex. (I gotta admit, that was just plain fun- I need to add more art opportunities in our homeschooling!)

Here is the video that we showed:

The video is powerful and I hope it made an impact on our congregation, but considering most of the folks there on Sunday were over 70 years old, I don't think it inspired anyone there to adopt.  However, I'm hoping that it made them aware of the orphan crisis and maybe they will support other families who do choose to adopt.  If nothing else, it makes them sensitive to the feelings of the children that we foster and adopt and bring into the church family.  

A second interesting thread in regards to this presentation- I called Pastor Mark in Irene to borrow their digital projector and had a lovely discussion explaining Orphan Sunday to him.  He is an awesome pastor with a real heart for children, and he was enthralled to learn about this promotion, and he confessed that he and his wife support a child through World Vision. 

Any-who, I found out that he ended up preaching on Orphan care on Sunday- something that he hadn't planned on doing!!  My good friend, Sara, also spoke to the congregation at that church about the importance of adoption, as she is adopted and is a firm supporter of adoption. She also found out that her other church preached on Orphan Sunday as well due to her influence, so that makes 3 church families that were touched by the message on Sunday. 

The word is getting out to the rural towns in this area, and even though we are small in numbers, I believe that together we will all make a difference in the lives of children.  I can't wait to see what God does with this, now that we have planted the seed in these three churches.  :-)

Orphan Sunday week- day 3

I began working on preparing something for this week's church service, since its Orphan Sunday. 

I finally had to stop watching the videos on YouTube because they had me in tears. 

I hope to be able to give a short presentation to our church without breaking down and crying...we'll see if I'm successful or not!

Now I'm off to see if I can find a huge screen for the front of the church :-)

God-instances

My favorite Christian radio station has a gal on it that talks about how sometimes events are too purposeful to be considered coincidences, so she calls them "God-incidences". 

This week I've had some events that I think qualify :-)

Here's what happened.  About 2 weeks ago, I saw a little 3 yo boy on one of the adoption agency sites who just about broke my heart.  His thin little arms and his sad eyes caused my Momma Bear instincts to kick in and I was ready to jump full speed into the paperchase to bring that little guy home.  I had emailed the request to review his file and was quickly falling in love with that face.

Then, I got the email from the agency coordinator that another family had just submitted their PA to China for this little guy.  I felt as if I had been kicked in the stomach.

During this 2 weeks, there was activity going on the foster care front as well.  We were informed that our 3 yo Little Man would be transferred into a guardianship with his elder great aunt.  Even though he's been here only 5 months, he is part of the family and we will struggle with his absence. I'm starting to miss him already. 

Also during this 2 weeks, I have been praying for guidance in regards to future adoptions; wondering what our next step should be, and which direction we were being led. 

So when we were called by DSS in regards to a placement, and the placement just happens to be a 3 yo boy from Liberia, it seemed a little coincidental. 

Then it turned out that our transporter for Little Man's visits was the foster mom (I'll call her J) that was raising a little girl whom we had in care years ago.  This foster mom had adopted the full sister to this little girl years before, and DSS wanted the girls to be together, but hadn't discovered their relationship right away.  And 4 years later, this mom is now working at the Visitation Center and is transporting Little Man for his weekly family visits.

It gets better.  DSS asks whether we would consider also taking the older sister to the little boy whom we are getting.  She's been in emergency care because they couldn't locate anyone at the time who could take her as a permanent placement.  And guess who she is staying with in Emergency Care?

J, our transporter.  :-)

If you are confused, don't feel bad. It reads like a weird Agatha Christie novel, but all of the God-instances certainly have made me stop and take notice.

So now we will most likely have 2 new kids staying with us, hopefully for a long time.  And this will give us a little more time to decide on what our next step in adoption will be.

And I have to remind myself that God has his hand in the tapestry that is our lives, knowing how all these threads will come together to produce his handiwork.  My job is to be a willing servant, opening my arms and my home to the children that need me,and pray that our time together helps to heal them. 

He Answers

  2 years ago, I was struggling with the realization that our hopeful plans for adopting two of our foster children were not going to become reality.

 Suddenly, the mother that was scheduled to be deported back to Ethiopia because of her criminal history and who had previously been labeled as "unfit" to parent by DSS was going to get her two children back.  The two children that I had raised, fed, taught, played with, comforted, parented and loved over the past year.

I wanted to lay on the floor and kick like a toddler, screaming "It's not Faaaaaiiiiiiiiiiiiiirrrrrrrrrrrrrr!"

Not very noble, I know.

Because all of us foster parents "are saints" and this is "such a noble calling." (eyes rolling)

Whatever.

So with my emotions rolling and my hope for providing a home to children who need one at an all-time low, I turned to prayer.  (although I did start out with a bit of an attitude!)

'Lord, several years ago, you placed the burden of the orphan on my heart.  I read about all the little girls in China being abandoned, left at roadsides and in trash bins, and it broke my heart.  I wanted to hop on a plane and rescue those little ones who had no value there.  But YOU know they have value.  I had a dream of wanting to save at least one of those little souls and show them how very important they are."

And you said "Follow Me."

So we began the grueling personal invasion of our life that is the adoption process, doing endless paperwork and jumping through hoops to show that we are worthy.  And there were days when we thought we would never be done with the red tape.

And You gave us the strength and tenacity to continue.

And then the wait for approvals and verifications took longer than expected, and all we could think of was a little one, sitting alone in an orphanage, and the image broke our heart.

You you whispered  "Have faith."

And when we used up the funds in our savings account, and cashed in IRAs, and there was a part of us that wanted to cling to that which offered financial security, and you reminded us that money in itself is a false sense of security.

And you promised that you will always provide for us.

And when we got the referral of a little girl with spina bifida, and a medical file that offered us more questions than answers, and the consulting doctor said it was risky, and yet, we knew that we needed to have faith that this was Our Daughter, so we said "Yes"

And you said "Trust Me."

And we did.  And the reward was more than we had ever imagined.

So last weekend, when Quinn was baptized and dedicated to God, everything came full circle.

And it felt as if we were saying "Thank You." 

 And I'm pretty sure I heard God say "You're welcome".  :-)

Isaiah 41:13 "For I, the Lord your God, hold your right hand;  it is I who say to  you ,"Fear not, for I will help you."

An Adoption Celebration

On Wednesday, we got to celebrate a very special day with some very special people.

Their adoption was finalized, and this sweet girl is now in her Forever Family.

It's amazing how God can orchestrate people and events to work through a plan that is perfect.

We are so thrilled for our friends and their new daughter! 

Of course, Quinn is an old pro at adoption ceremonies. :-) 

James 1:27“Pure and undefiled religion in the sight of our God and Father is this: to visit orphans and widows in their distress, and to keep oneself unstained by the world.”

Visit #2 to the Castle

 Thursday, we were headed back to the Children's Hospital for Quinn's MRI, which is being requested by the pediatric neurologist that will be doing her surgery this summer.  The nursing staff at Sanford is so good with kids, and they go to great lengths to avoid any pain or discomfort for them.  Quinn was cheerful and agreeable about everything that day, even when she had to have an IV.  They put a lotion on her IV sites that had to sit 45 minutes before inserting the IV, and I don't think she even felt it go in.

Loopy Lucy got very groggy as the medicine kicked in, but I was so touched that she turned to me with such trust, as if we had known each other forever.  She kept holding my hand during the procedures-how sweet is that?

She slept through the brain and spine MRI and did great- we should get a report on their findings on Monday.  We are praying that everything will be perfect, but of course, if it's not, that is fine as well.  She is doing so well already at this point, and no matter what challenges are in her future, we will be there to face them with her.

 She will never be alone again- that's the beauty of adoption.

A Different view of Mother's Day

I read this article today, and it brought me back to our earlier days with Camille. 

She walked into our home at 20 months of age, surveyed the area, and then turned and looked at me as if I was the new zookeeper and she was animal on exhibit.  It got worse before it got better.

Camille had almost all of the "symptoms" on the RAD checklist, with the exception of starting fires.  Then again....she wasn't quite yet 2 years old. And I kept the matches above her reach.  (HA!)

Thankfully, I can say that she and I have been through the battle, and have hopefully come out on the other side, committed to loving each other whether we like it or not.

And I have to give her credit for putting up with me and the learning curve which comes with parenting an attachment challenged child.  Because even though I KNEW how I should respond when she threw her RAD behaviors at me, follow through often went out the window, along with my patience. 

Many days I lost my temper and thought I would lose my mind.  There are occasional days when I still feel that way.  But the good news is, those days are fewer and further apart, and we are both learning better ways of dealing with the behaviors that come with this label.

http://www.wearegraftedin.com/4753/its-mothers-week-to-mothers-of-unattached-children/

Thank you, Lisa Barry, for your insight on a tough subject, done with compassion, honesty, and in a way that gives us mommys hope.

Busy week~

Spring gets so busy, with farm work, wrapping up homeschool,  celebrations like graduations, Mothers Day, several family birthdays, and Luke's confirmation- throw in having to refinish a basement and cleaning and repairing on our rental house, and we are exhausted from all the juggling.

Tried to find a juggler that wasn't smiling, but no luck!

So when the weather man said there would be storms later in the afternoon..

And the weather was glorious outside....

We decided to Carpe Diem...



Have a wagon ride...



Play in the dirt

I went out and spent some time in the garden..

Bri went out and worked with her horse.

We all needed a little time away from the crazy work schedule, if even for a few hours, then the rains came so it was back to the grindstone. (uffda)

On a sidenote- it's been interesting to watch Quinn adapt to the great outdoors after spending 2 years cooped up in an orphanage.  At first, even walking on grass seemed to challenge her, and now I no longer have to carry her across the lawn.  She is dipping her hands into sand now, tolerating our overly friendly dogs more, and is fascinated by butterflies.  I can't even imagine how much her little sensory world has been stimulated ever since coming home, but it definitely agrees with her.  She is one happy little kid.

How important is Cultural Identity?

Quinn's new baby doll, Qiao Qiao.

This is Quinn's new baby doll, named Qiao Qiao.  ( Quinn's nickname, sounds like Chow Chow)

My good friend, Sara, found this doll at a specialty toy store in Sioux Falls.  She was so excited that she called me from the store, squealing "I found a baby for Quinn!"   and we all did the Happy Dance.

We were excited because up until now, we had come up with nothing.  Squat.  Zippo.

Chinese Barbie?  Forget about it.  Just a brunette with a fancy Asian outfit.  Once her clothes are off, she just looks like Cindy Crawford.

Ebay or Internet sites that advertized Asian dolls weren't much better- they assume that if you put straight black hair on a doll, you can call it Asian.  How can they ignore those beautiful almond eyes??!  That is one feature on Quinn that I want her to be proud of and to be able to identify with, even if it's only on her doll.  It's one of my favorite features on her, and I wanted her to see it mirrored in her baby doll.
 
I was naive in thinking it would be easier to find a doll that Quinn could identify with.  I started my hunt while in China, sure that I would find plenty of dolls, but I was in for a surprise.  Everywhere we looked, we saw blonde Caucasian dolls lining the shelves, with the occassional African American doll, but NO ASIAN DOLLS!  At first, I thought that maybe we just weren't looking in the right stores, but the more stores we visited, the more we realized that it was the same everywhere.  When we asked our guide about our doll dilemma, she told us that she too, had a blonde doll when she was a child. 

Hmmmm. Don't Asian children want babies that look like them?  Don't Asian parents want to give their children dolls that look like them?  I just don't get it.  Then again, maybe with the One Child policy, there just isn't a market for toys that promote mothering.

How have Chinese parents missed the Barbie/Cabbage Patch/Bratz/Polly pocket/ blitz that have provided American parents with oodles of gift ideas and filled our children's toy boxes?  Mattel apparently hasn't been very aggressive in their Asian markets, I'm telling ya.



Anyway, back to Quinn :-)

What I do know from much of the reading I've done on adoptees is that it's important for a child's self esteem to be able to identify with their ethnic heritage using positive examples, role models, and exposure with toys that reflect their looks, skin tone and hair type.  I know I can't provide Chinese role models for her to hang out with, don't have access to a Chinese Schools and churches like they have on the East coast, and it will be a challenge (but do-able) to find other Chinese adoptees within driving distance so that she can have a friend that resembles her. 

I might not be able to provide her with an Asian sub-culture here in South Dakota, so I will have to do my best to provide her with the things that I can- family, mothering, lots of love, life in the country, siblings that already adore her, a community that embraces her, and maybe even a pony. :-)   These are the things that I CAN give her.  

And also, a little Asian babydoll that looks like her.

Thanks Sara :-)

 

Quinn's sharing her sippy cup with Qiao Qiao 

1 month anniversary

It's been one month since I first got my arms wrapped around Quinn, and now I just can't imagine her not being in our lives.   She has settled in as if she owns the place, and we couldn't be more thrilled! 

Talking on the phone is her current "thing" and everything becomes a phone, including the TV remote control.  It's hilarious to watch her babble, then say "yah, yah, yah" and then laugh as if she just heard a joke!!  What a character she is!

She is also fascinating by the piano- she will sit and tinkle the ivories for up to 20 minutes before wanting to get down.  Maybe she will be our piano player?

Not sure why this got fuzzy when I added it..?

I find myself getting caught up in just watching her- it's so surreal to see her as part of our family and I almost can't believe that she is finally here.  I'm sure that I won't always have this feeling of disbelief, and she will become just one of the gang, but for now, I'm enjoying the sheer delight that I feel when watching her.

I don't think the feeling of awe will ever go away. And I'm okay with that :-)

Carpe Diem

This post describes so well to the conflict that I often feel- grateful to be a stay at home mother, but frustrated because many days parenting feels more like a job than a priviledge.  But, like the author, there are moments in every day that I revel in the joy of motherhood, even if it's only for a few minutes, and that nourishes my soul enough to get up the next day and do it again.

Enjoy~

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/glennon-melton/dont-carpe-diem_b_1206346.html

Look at those angel faces!

Last day in China

This has been the longest two weeks, and yet, I'm still surprised that we are nearing the end and it's time to fly home.  Today we will fly out of Guangzhou and into Shanghai, stay the night in the hotel there, then fly out early tomorrow morning.  First stop is Tokyo, where Loren was wondering if they would stamp his passport "just for the heck of it" but I warned him not to try anything that would result in him landing in Tokyo prison and me flying home alone.  Priorities, man.

We have gained so much from this trip! 

First and foremost, an incredible daughter who is amazingly resilient and already willing to trust these two goofy looking strangers- that in itself is a miracle. That she has survived all that she has and is still able to smile and experience joy is a testament to her inner strength. 

Second- new friends.  We have had the priviledge of traveling with 2 amazing couples..  Both husbands are pastors, sports fans, and all around great husbands and fathers.  The wives are incredible mothers and advocates for orphans and fun Sisters of the Traveling Pants kinda gals, adventurous while keeping the home fires burning.  They have added so much to this trip and we couldn't have asked for better traveling companions.

Third- an appreciation of where we live, our country, and all that we have been blessed with.  Our freedoms; from censorship, from family size regulation, from limiting our travel or career choices.  Our living space and the luxury of living in the country and not crammed into an already overflowing city.

Fourth- an appreciation for each other as a couple, supporting each other in this adventure and truly enjoying this time together.  I can't think of anyone I would want to travel with more than Loren- he has been an incredible support and alot of fun too!

Fifth- a reinforcement of our faith in God's promise that he supports our mission for the care of orphans, and that he has been with us during this entire trip: keeping us safe and putting people in our paths that we were meant to meet. 

Sixth- an appreciation of China, it's current culture and it's rich history. We have learned so much about the country and people during our visit, and I come away from here with a respect of Quinn's heritage.  I hope I can pass this appreciation on to her as she gets older.

So as we get the last items crammed into our suitcases, I'll end with a few pictures from the last few days of our time in Guangzhou.

Here I am, looking cute as always.

We went into the White Swan hotel and got pics in front of the waterfall. 

This is the Jewelry mall, where the Wholesale Pearl district is located. We watched pearl necklaces being strung.  Can't believe that all of these stores are jewelry stores~

Dressed up for her Consulate appointment, but not very happy about it!  Still cute, even when she's pouting.

Hugging Dad, after the consulate appointment.

Shopping on Samian Island. 
Mark, April, Dai Fu, Loren, Drew, Amy, Salem (Quinn is standing with me)

Medical checkup on Samian Island.  Kids did NOT like this part.

Quinn was not cooperative!  She cried just as much getting weighed as she did getting her TB shot!

So anxious to see you all back home!  Take care, and see you all soon~
Love, Michelle and Loren

Adoption Update

We had been having trouble with the internet over the weekend but seem to have it figured out now. 

Friday morning we went to the Shanxi Province museum in Tiayuan.  I am not always a big museum guy but generally interested enough in history that I like to go.  We learned a lot about the history and culture of the province Quinn is from.  We are trying to take in as much as we can so we can help her know her Chinese heritage as well as her 'Scandinavian' background.

We left Tiayuan Friday afternoon for Guangzhou.  This is the final leg of the adoption process.  Saturday morning we went to the clinic for Quinn's examination.  Added to the list of things Quinn doesn't like include doctors and doctor's offices.  It did go relatively quickly and painlessly and we spent the rest of the day visiting the shops downtown. 

Sunday was a free day.  We didn't do much which I think we all needed.  Today (Monday) we go to see the results of the TB test and then another museum.  Tomorrow is our consulate appt and then Wednesday we collect Quinn's visa and head for the airport for a plane to Shanghai.  Thursday we begin our journey home going through Tokyo and on to Minneapolis.

I see a new swing being added to our swingset!

Michelle and Quinn in front of Starbucks. 

(You know how much of a coffee drinker Michelle is.)

Having lunch Saturday with the Scotts and Andersons

at Lucy's cafe on Shamian Island.

More later from Michelle.  (she is much better at this than I am - I'm surprised she let's me on her blog!)

Adoption Day

Because the internet goes into snail mode around 7 am here, I'm only going to post a few pictures for now before we head out, and then add some details when we get back.  The pictures take about 10 minutes a piece to load during prime time internet hours!

Had your child a whole 5 minutes?  Here, sign some papers!

Quinn when we got back to the hotel

Jammied up!  Playing with the first of 'her' toys

At the government building after this round

of paperwork was completed

Dad and Quinn - Day 2

Going out for dinner - Chinese tonight?

Notice all the bikes and scooters

Quinn with a couple more of her toys

Why is there a picture of me asleep with every child in

our house?  I must have a calming effect or work really hard!

Hanging out at the airport

Sitting here at the SeaTac airport in Seattle and managed to locate a free WiFi spot, so thought I would pop on to send messages to the kids and check email. 

Living on the farm hasn't prepared me for the Techno Influence that is surrounding me here in the Fast Lane of international travellers and the Movers and Shakers of the world.  I've never seen so many Ipods and Droids in hand, computers on laps, or MP3 player ear buds in ears before- there are even notices everywhere as to when you can have them on and when you can't.

Didn't know you can "buy" internet service while on the plane for $9.99 per flight either.  I'm still thrilled that they aren't charging for the Diet Coke.

And speaking of food, I had the largest Grilled Chicken salad I could find here, as my last "American Lettuce Meal" before entering China's "don't eat the lettuce" zone.  It was the best tasting salad that I can remember having EVER.  Of course, it's probably just because I know I can't have another one for 2 weeks.

I'm still kinda existing in that disbelief-zone that we are actually In Process, actually on a plane headed for Beijing.  I am loving every moment of it, the excitement of so many new things to see, the alone time spent with Loren without a million interruptions, and the barely contained excitement of soon meeting Quinn. 

(Yes, I'm still trying to learn my few pitiful Mandarin phrases- don't laugh.)  Although I think I impressed my kids when we were at Best Buy just before we took off for Mpls, and I was able to tell them what the words meant on the gong at the front of the store!  (It said "goodbye" in Mandarin) 

I hope they were impressed.  I have so few tricks left that impress them anymore :-)

Zai Jian

How fast can I learn Mandarin...?

The last 10 days seem to have gone by in a blur- living at the folks farm, running between there and our farm to do chores and work on the house, cleaning, unpacking, and trying to get my life in control again. 

 Yes, the ugly Type A personality has been rearing its head and I've been frantically trying to get my universe orderly so that the house is ready to move into, so that I will be ready to travel to get Quinn, and so that all is ready for the kids (grown up kids too) to be here over Christmas break.

Boxes unpacked, gifts wrapped and stockings stuffed, livestock feed stocked, freezers full, and paperwork ready to go.  Got the Sunday School Christmas program and party completed yesterday, and our last school event for Luke is tonight's Christmas concert.  Watched the season finale of Survivor while hanging the family photos.  Checklist is almost done.

After the rush of getting ready, both Loren and I are almost looking forward to the 15 hour plane trip, if only to sleep or do nothing.

Today we received our itinerary and it's looking like it's really going to happen!  And I'm panicking.  I know about 3 phrases in Mandarin and don't have a new book to read for the trip, so technically, I'm just not ready.  

On the other hand, I'm so ready to hold Quinn that I can barely stand it.  :-)

Here is our itinerary:

CHINA ITINERARY

Loren and Michelle Johnson

December 22, 2011             Arrive in Beijing via DL129 @ 10:20 p.m.  Airport pickup.  Stay at Chang’an Grand Hotel.

December 23, 2011             Orientation meeting at 10:00 a.m.  Acrobatic show in the afternoon.

December 24, 2011             Visit the Great Wall and Cloisonne Factory.  Lunch included.

December 25, 2011             Visit Tiananmen Square, Forbidden City, and Hutong Tour.

December 26, 2011             Flight MU5292 (8:05- 9:20) to Taiyuan.  Airport pickup. Stay at Taiyuan Continental Hotel.  Receive your child in the afternoon.

December 27, 2011             Adoption  registration and  notarization.

December 28, 2011             Go to Datong by bus to apply for passport. Return to Taiyuan same night.

December 29, 2011             Visit Jiaxiu Pavilion, Yinze Park, and Shanxi Provincial Museum.

                                               

December 30, 2011             Receive all the documents. Flight CZ3530 (16:00-18:40) to Guangzhou. Airport pickup.

December 31, 2011             Medical exam for your child.

January 1, 2012                   Free

January 2, 2012                   Go back to the clinic to check TB skin test result.  Visit Guangzhou Folk Art Museum.

January 3, 2012                   Visa appointment.

January 4, 2012                   Pick up visa in the afternoon.  Go directly to airport. Flight MU5310 (18:55-21:20) to Shanghai. Stay at Airport Hotel.

January 5, 2012                   Flight DL296 @ 8:40 a.m. to USA.

So......whether I'm technically ready or not, we will be on that plane Wednesday morning- woo hoo!!

Please keep us in your prayers while we are gone, and especially pray for Quinn to accept us and to move gently into this new stage of her life. 

Pray that she will begin to trust us and bond with us, so that she can begin to have the security that only comes with having a loving family that watches over you and protects you.

Pray that Quinn is in good health, and also that Loren and I get through the trip unscathed by the diabolical intestinal issues that plague so many while traveling there.

Pray that our children here at home will do well in the care of their older brother and that things go smoothly while we are gone.

Can't wait to introduce Quinn to her new family, and her new family to her. This trip is an answer to a prayer and a mission that was laid on my heart almost 30 years ago.  I never thought this mission would reach completion, and my heart is so full now from all the blessings (and struggles) that have accompanied this process.   

God is good~

Guess what we got??



Yes, you heard me right. We got Travel Approval!!  The LAST obstacle to getting on a plane and flying to China to get Quinn. 

It reminds me of most of my pregnancies- weeks overdue, miserable and exhausted from my efforts, and wondering if I would be pregnant forever. 

I truly felt like we were going to be "adopting" forever.

Now that we have the go ahead, it just doesn't feel real, and I struggle with the concept that we will be actually GOING! It takes my breath away.  (Literally- I get light headed whenever I think about going!) 

So I've been giddy ever since I got the email, and I indulged in the luxery of just being happy for the day. 

That was yesterday.  Today, I said Goodbye to bliss, and Hello to worry.

I mean, here we sit at my parents house, no heat or water in OUR house, and I'm beginning to panic about getting the house ready before we go. I want to get the crib set up, meals made and put in the freezer, rooms cleaned and suitcases packed.  I think everyone wants to have some control in their lives, especially during the momentous occasions.

Then I read something in Max Lucado's book that really made me think...and relax.

Max wondered aloud whether Joseph had many of those same concerns when it came time for Jesus to be born.  This wasn't what he had planned...he would've provided a midwife for Mary and she would've had the comfort of their home for the birth, their family and friends would have been there celebrating, cheering as the baby was presented.  It would've been so... much... easier.

Instead, they are miles from their home, turned away from any lodging in town, and surrounded by straw and smelly livestock, giving birth in a barn. Alone.  No one to help Mary, no one to congratulate the new parents, not even a bed to lie on to give birth.  

I'm sure Joseph was wondering why things weren't more "perfect".  I mean, wasn't this the birth of the Messiah?!  Shouldn't the conditions have been Perfect?  But I guess that's where the lesson comes in.  Life is never "perfect".  And it doesn't have to be for wonderful things to happen.  Sometimes, the lessons we learn because life ISN'T perfect are the lessons that make us stronger, more accepting and flexible to whatever life throws at us.

So, whether the house is clean, meals prepped, or the crib assembled, we're heading to China to pick up our little Miracle this month.  And it will be Perfect :-)